The Story of the Dead Author 1

Yeah! New rules, new title, new story! It's not anymore about me, Walrus Eggman! It's about my author.

My author is a son of a bitch who was raised by whores in San Francisco. Even as a child he began to reveal his dangerous, psychopathic personality, which led him into a series of fictional characters massacres back in the 90s. Rehabilitated after a long...

But wait... If I talk about no one else but Him, I'm not denying his existence. OK, I'll write nothing more about my author. He has never existed. I'm my own author.

And I'm tired of these stories... The old scheme - comments on news - is way better for the development of my ability to write in English, the sole purpose of this blasted blog.

The Story of Walrus Eggman 14

-- YEAH! Now I'm the one in charge! No author to ever kill me again! I'm holding a lantern and shouting: "I've killed God! I've killed God!". That bloody author was a serial killer of a single person: me! What was on his mind? Did he think anyone would enjoy a story of meaningless deaths? Oh well, it doesn't matter. What matters now is that I am in charge of my own life!

The Story of Walrus Eggman 13

Walrus Eggman...

-- DIE, AUTHOR, DIE!!!

...

The Story of Walrus Eggman 12

-- What's the point of dying again and again, if I can't remember my previous lives?

Walrus Eggman dies again, killed by his own author, which has been surprised by the fact that his character could remember his previous lives.

The Story of Walrus Eggman 11

-- I can't die again! Why do I keep dying all the time? Is it some illness of my soul? A flaw in God's work? I have to change the CD in the radio...

Distracted from the road while changing the music, Walrus Eggman smashed his car againt a tree. He didn't die right away. A week of pain inside a hospital before the end of this chapter.

Scientists prove humanity sucks

Yeah, that's it. Scientists have found strong evidence to support what I always knew: the human being is a crawling contraption designed to the sole purpose of inflicting pain upon its own species; the apex of Nature's creativity, as it is life capable of denying the very rules which no other living being ever broke.

Studies show that, under certain conditions, ANY person can behave as an instrument of evil. All that is required is an order and the belief in the legitimacy of the person issuing the command. In a recreation of the classic Stanley Milgram's experiment, an absolute majority of test subjects were (again) incapable of questioning a fake experiment in which they were led to believe they were applying increasingly stronger electric shocks to another person, trusting the absolute legitimacy currently owned by Science and guys in white coats. Now THAT's how Hitler did what he did.

I'm not in the mood to create a logical sequence between the first and the second paragraphs of this post, so just pretend the connection is there. And I'm sorry there are absolutely no jokes in this post, but the news are grim indeed, if a bit old, are they not, oh friend who treads under the storms of the darkest of nights?

This bunch of crap came from here.

The Story of Walrus Eggman 10

Walrus Eggman was on the passenger seat of a black Buick. When the car entered a tunnel, a guy in the backseat pulled out a violin string and choked Mr. Eggman to death.