This revolutionary approach to the whole concept of sunscreen may put my own life at risk, as I'll be challenging a powerful industry by revealing these facts to the public (alas, a public of two people, but, anyway...). The beautiful game of capitalism has those little setbacks: they might take my life to keep my mouth shut. That's why people who reveal secrets should make use of pseudonyms. This morning, while I was showering, I realized I could no longer hold back this inconvenient truth. One of the rarest phenomena in the Universe, I might add, a person like me, a ruthless conqueror, casting aside his ego.
In direct and simple terms, I'll express the leitmotif of these revelations: SUNSCREENS DO NOT WORK, I repeat, SUNSCREENS DO NOT WORK AND ARE THE MAIN CAUSE FOR THE GREAT INCREASE OF SKIN CANCER CASES IN THE LAST DECADE.
Right, some proof is required after a sentence like that. Very well... I'll give you a list of strong evidences.
Before that, however, let's assume a fact that you may or may not regard as true: THE HOLE IN THE OZONE LAYER IS A LIE perpetrated by leftist vegans who want to undermine capitalism's capacity to generate wealth. Again, it doesn't matter if you believe that or not, it's just a background for the series of arguments I'll be developing.
The Ozone Layer lie is perpetrated by leftist vegans only? I now have found strong evidence that not only these idealistic children are interested in the idea that the Sun will burn us down to ashes, but also SUNSCREEN industries! They've designed and forged evidences to that theory and anonymously released it to the public, through the press and a few selected individuals spread around the globe. The hysteria took place and everyone went looking for a solution.
The solution found? SUNSCREEN, a product that (allegedly) protects against harmful Sun rays. But is it a product really efficient against Sun rays? As far as statistics can talk, they deny that fact. As the number of cases of skin cancer has increased dramatically in the last years, the number of people using sunscreen has grown larger than ever. Would the skin cancer jump be explained by the supposed hole on the ozone layer? Or by the use an unproven and possibly innocuous cream that gives us carte blanche to spend several hours in the Sun?
Is it too wicked for a human being to invent a cream which only alleviates the symptoms of Sun burns, denying the skin its own process of healing and the pain which makes us extra careful with the affected areas? Is it too far-fetched? Germans felt the same way about concentration camps.
A conclusion we can arrive to after these arguments: SUNSCREENS have helped to increase the number of skin cancers, because they offer palliative relief from Sun burns and let us spend several hours unprotected under the King Star.
Scientific evidence also suggests that sunscreens block the buildup of vitamin D when they block the ultraviolet radiation. Vitamin D, as recent studies have shown, prevents up to 77 forms of cancer in women. On the other hand, the toxic ingredients of sunscreens are carcinogenic on their own, and were never tested or approved by the FDA.
A naive teacher once held a speech encouraging newly graduates to wear sunscreen because of the death of his wife by skin cancer, along with other aesthetic truths. Why did that speech become known in the four corners of the Earth? Sunscreen industries loved it, as it could have easily been the text for a (long) advertisement campaign.
After these ideas I've humbly tried to plant on your minds, judge for yourself:
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Evil Morales expels U.S. diplomat
Evil Morales, the little dictator of one of the insignificant southern countries which weight America down, Burdenlivia, declared one of our diplomats "persona non grata", expelling him from from his office last monday. Apparently, the diplomat w
as plotting against the dictator, which is evidently true. Nonetheless, we feel extremely disrespected by the action, not only because he considered one of our own worse than his third-world countrymen, but because we'll end up with another Mexican inside our borders - the newest Bolivia's "persona non grata" is called Francisco Martinez.
By the way, how do we let a Mexican occupy one of our most important public functions? How do we let a foreigner speak for us in the outside world? No wonder everyone hates America! If true Americans were doing that job, the world would have no choice but to bow down to our will.
May a 21th century's General Custer step forward and shoot down that bloody indian! We're being too compassionate with South America, because of more pressing matters overseas. Now that the War on Terror is implemented and well on its way to a victorious closing, we may once again look down to our geographic step stool and remove the leftist governments which plagued the region for the last decade. Our bases in the New World must be strong before we can jump to the domination of Eurasia.
Clearly Barack Osama has a dim comprehension of these facts. Fortunally, his comprehension of anything is dim, so he won't be able to deconstruct anything erected by Caesar W. Bush. Let's sit and wait for the final takeover. Even now, plans are being made, and it won't be long before they're put in motion.
_______
Those unaware of the Easter Bunny threat should click here.
as plotting against the dictator, which is evidently true. Nonetheless, we feel extremely disrespected by the action, not only because he considered one of our own worse than his third-world countrymen, but because we'll end up with another Mexican inside our borders - the newest Bolivia's "persona non grata" is called Francisco Martinez.By the way, how do we let a Mexican occupy one of our most important public functions? How do we let a foreigner speak for us in the outside world? No wonder everyone hates America! If true Americans were doing that job, the world would have no choice but to bow down to our will.
May a 21th century's General Custer step forward and shoot down that bloody indian! We're being too compassionate with South America, because of more pressing matters overseas. Now that the War on Terror is implemented and well on its way to a victorious closing, we may once again look down to our geographic step stool and remove the leftist governments which plagued the region for the last decade. Our bases in the New World must be strong before we can jump to the domination of Eurasia.
Clearly Barack Osama has a dim comprehension of these facts. Fortunally, his comprehension of anything is dim, so he won't be able to deconstruct anything erected by Caesar W. Bush. Let's sit and wait for the final takeover. Even now, plans are being made, and it won't be long before they're put in motion.
_______
Those unaware of the Easter Bunny threat should click here.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Jim Morrison is dead!
Jim Morrison was just found dead in a cemetery in Paris. Apparently, he has suffocated under tons of offerings which were placed over his grave by thousands of fans all around the world. The French police has no clue as to when the death occurred, only that it was about three days ago. Millions of fans have already paid their last tribute to the rockstar, who enchanted generations with his vibrant and yet sad songs.
James Douglas Morrison, as his mother used to call him, was born in Melbourne, FL, in 1943. He was the lead singer and composer for one of the greatest phenomena in rock history, the band known as The Doors. Songs like Spanish Caravan, Light my Fire, People Are Strange and House of the Rising Sun certainly won't be forgotten by his fans all around the world.
The funeral is being held in the chapel of the cemetery. His comrades from The Doors rendered tribute to the great composer earlier this morning, as well as many celebrities from various branches of the art industry, all connected by the same feeling of irreparable loss. Jim Morrison was widely known by his outstanding ability to form bonds with people around him, and now is a moment when this ability reveals itself in a palpable way.
May his soul finally find the peace it was denied in life.
_______
For early Summer fun, click here.
James Douglas Morrison, as his mother used to call him, was born in Melbourne, FL, in 1943. He was the lead singer and composer for one of the greatest phenomena in rock history, the band known as The Doors. Songs like Spanish Caravan, Light my Fire, People Are Strange and House of the Rising Sun certainly won't be forgotten by his fans all around the world.
The funeral is being held in the chapel of the cemetery. His comrades from The Doors rendered tribute to the great composer earlier this morning, as well as many celebrities from various branches of the art industry, all connected by the same feeling of irreparable loss. Jim Morrison was widely known by his outstanding ability to form bonds with people around him, and now is a moment when this ability reveals itself in a palpable way.
May his soul finally find the peace it was denied in life.
_______
For early Summer fun, click here.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
One More Lousy Blog is back!
Straight from the ashes we rise again with our usual and meaningless ways of employing the slavers' language, this lower form of German we're used to call "English".
As we have predicted before, Barack Obama has become the new President of the World. This outstanding prediction should place us from OMLB at a top-notch position as political analysts and intellectuals, amongst other renowned names, such as Noam Chomsky, Eric Hobsbawm, Joseph Stiglitz, Deepak Chopra, George Foreman and Dan Brown. It's only a matter of time before someone recognizes the indisputable value of our writings and decides to make a shitload of money for themselves and for us.
In a few days, we'll be posting all about the current economic crisis, which we ALSO have predicted long ago! If we HAD any money in stocks, we wouldn't have lost any of it! A pity no one paid heed to our constant warnings. So, keep comin' and we'll keep givin' ya tips ye won't forget!
_______
For late Christmas fun, click here
As we have predicted before, Barack Obama has become the new President of the World. This outstanding prediction should place us from OMLB at a top-notch position as political analysts and intellectuals, amongst other renowned names, such as Noam Chomsky, Eric Hobsbawm, Joseph Stiglitz, Deepak Chopra, George Foreman and Dan Brown. It's only a matter of time before someone recognizes the indisputable value of our writings and decides to make a shitload of money for themselves and for us.
In a few days, we'll be posting all about the current economic crisis, which we ALSO have predicted long ago! If we HAD any money in stocks, we wouldn't have lost any of it! A pity no one paid heed to our constant warnings. So, keep comin' and we'll keep givin' ya tips ye won't forget!
_______
For late Christmas fun, click here
Monday, December 22, 2008
The Story of the Dead Author 1
Yeah! New rules, new title, new story! It's not anymore about me, Walrus Eggman! It's about my author.
My author is a son of a bitch who was raised by whores in San Francisco. Even as a child he began to reveal his dangerous, psychopathic personality, which led him into a series of fictional characters massacres back in the 90s. Rehabilitated after a long...
But wait... If I talk about no one else but Him, I'm not denying his existence. OK, I'll write nothing more about my author. He has never existed. I'm my own author.
And I'm tired of these stories... The old scheme - comments on news - is way better for the development of my ability to write in English, the sole purpose of this blasted blog.
My author is a son of a bitch who was raised by whores in San Francisco. Even as a child he began to reveal his dangerous, psychopathic personality, which led him into a series of fictional characters massacres back in the 90s. Rehabilitated after a long...
But wait... If I talk about no one else but Him, I'm not denying his existence. OK, I'll write nothing more about my author. He has never existed. I'm my own author.
And I'm tired of these stories... The old scheme - comments on news - is way better for the development of my ability to write in English, the sole purpose of this blasted blog.
The Story of Walrus Eggman 14
-- YEAH! Now I'm the one in charge! No author to ever kill me again! I'm holding a lantern and shouting: "I've killed God! I've killed God!". That bloody author was a serial killer of a single person: me! What was on his mind? Did he think anyone would enjoy a story of meaningless deaths? Oh well, it doesn't matter. What matters now is that I am in charge of my own life!
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