Ladies and gentlemen, I'm your host for the evening, Walrus Eggman, and this is just One More Lousy Blog!
I'm not the Walrus, since John Lennon was the Walrus. And I'm not the Eggman, since I've never entertained sexual experiences with eggs assigned to key roles!
I'm just another Walrus Eggman, a name as common as John Smith, Jane Watson or Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and this is just "ONE MORE LOUSY BLOG"!
Tonight we ask ourselves: "Is Barack Obama the right man for The Chair?"
To help us in this show, we proudly present two of the greatest minds living in America. On one corner, we have a real champion of America. Thousands of americans want to be like him! He is a wonderous fighter and almost a sex symbol. If he were a woman, he would have already been invited to pose for the Playboy magazine! Weighting 35 pounds, he iiiis... OSAMA BIN LADEN! (cheers)
On the other corner, we have a man of principle. A man of actions instead of words. He is the champion of morality! The standard by which all of us are measured! With an one-eyed-snake that weights over 35 pounds, we give youuu... ROCCO SIFFREDI!
So, I ask the two of you what I have already asked the audience: is Barack Obama the right man for... THE CHAIR? I warn you that the answer I'm seeking is "no", so cooperate with me and you won't be bullied to the amusement of our millions of viewers! I know that Rocco Siffredi is somehow impervious to that, but we have devised ways to make you suffer, Rocco, so cope with us. It seems you're embarassed with your ludicrously squeaky voice, so we'll play recordings from before your vocal implants to make you sound like Darth Vader if you do not answer "NO!".
Osama Bin Laden, age before beauty. Is Barack Obama the right man for The Chair?
OBL: "Good evening, everyone. Well, first, allow me to introduce myself. I am Usama al-Momineem Muktadr al-Sadr Saddam Husseim Kebab Nakhla Bin Laden, but my friends and family just call me 'Binny'. Well, as you have undoubtedly realized by now, Barack Obama is a relative of mine. He is the son of my nephew's brother-in-law with the brother-in-arms of a former comrade that married the stepmother of my cousins in third degree. And I'm dating his sister.
Anyone could assume that I would support him because of my relations with him. But that won't happen! The stepmother of my cousins in third degree stole a goat from the grandfather of a musician that played in the marriage of an adopted daughter of my cousins in SECOND degree. As everyone knows, SECOND degree is more important than the THIRD degree, so we've cut relations with that entire side of the family.
That's why I have no qualms in stating that Barack Obama is NOT the right man to become president of this great country"
We thank our old friend Binny for the eloquent statement! This man is the avatar of the clarity of vision! And now, we ask Rocco Siffredi the same question: is Barack Obama the right man for The Chair?
RS: "Ahhhm. Cumshots. Threesomes. Sylvia Saint. Squirting."
What? We can't understand you, Rocco. Speak plain English so that everyone that matters in the world can understand!
RS: "Bondage. I can't recall any other words that would mark this blog as of adult content. MILF! No..."
Ahhhh, so you agree with Binny, your answer is "No"!
RS: "No underwear parties. No condoms."
The fine gentlemen and women of the audience will have to excuse us, as we're experiencing some technical difficulties. (commercials)
1 comment:
this was funny, if a bit bitter, man... keep up the good work!
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